103.7 FM "The BUZZ"

I agree with you that Stevie Williams is a clown.  But, I think you're misreading the entire situation surrounding the caddie switch.
Would Adam Scott subject himself to all the media scrutiny just because that Stevie is a slightly better caddie than what he had?  Of course not.  It's something different entirely.  It's not about Stevie's knowledge of the YARDAGE BOOK.  It's more about his LITTLE BLACK BOOK.  See, Scott is a young guy.  And, let's face it, Stevie knows every golf groupie from Congressional to Carnoustie.  His value doesn't lie in the fact that he can keep you out of a BAD LIE, but rather he can get you into a GOOD LAY.  It's not about getting you into the FINAL TWOSOME ON SUNDAY AFTERNOON,   but instead getting you into a HOT THREESOME ON SUNDAY NIGHT.   If you ask Stevie's his opinion on club choice, it's not because you want to know 7 iron or 8 iron, it's because you want to know whether you should go to Platinums' or P's and Q's.  In the end, I guess what I'm saying is:  "any caddie can help you deal with the shanks.  Stevie helps u deal with the skanks".

tpmm

 

I think the NFL Draft is getting a little stale.  It needs something new.  I think someone other than the commissioner should announce the picks.  I think they should honor Chris Berman's years of service and let him do it.  You could get rid of the podium and build a huge bridge on the stage.  Then, when the pick is in, Berman could come crawling out from under the bridge like the little slimy troll that he is.  He could announce the pick and crawl back under.  Every few picks, ol' crazy eyes Gruden could come down and throw a couple of children under the bridge to keep Bermans energy up.  Just a thought.
As for Bin Laden, I agree with Pat that he should be stuffed.  Except, I don't think he should be in the Smithsonian.  He should be stuffed and put in the restroom at the twin towers memorial.  The U.S. could then charge visitors $5 to piss on him.  Debt Schmebt.  We'd have that sucker paid off in no time.  If I went, I'd take a hundred dollar bill, 41 coors lights and make a day of it.  Again, just a thought.

And finally,  how many accidental helicopter crashes in the line of duty happen without casualties?  You think it was coincidence that we flew an aircraft into his building before we wiped him out?   U.S.A


tpmm
 

I know Mcllroy was disappointed, but on a positive note he’s part of Augusta history.

Ike’s pond, Rae’s creek, the Nelson Bridge, The Sarazen Bridge, and now….Mcllroy’s Patio.

Screw the green jacket…you’re the only one with a patio at Augusta.

El Guapo

Dear Son,
I realize I've been hard on you over the years.  I know I've made you hate me sometimes.  I know you couldn't understand why I made you work on your swing while the other kids were going out to play.  And why I made you practice 3 foot putts while your classmates were going to prom.  I know I've pushed you harder than most parents.  But, it's because when i looked at you I saw  a boy with the potential to do great things.  I saw a boy with special talents.  And, until yesterday, that's exactly what you've been.  A talented BOY.  But yesterday, on the back 9 at the most fabulous course in the world, u grew up.  All your hard work paid off and you  became a man.  So, I'm giving you what you've always wanted.  You now can have the "e s" at the end of your name.  Congratulations Charles, you've earned it.

with love,
Mr. Schwartzel

p.s.  Don't let it go to your head, your brother Jame looks up to you.  Be a role model and maybe someday he'll follow in your footsteps and get his s.





tpmm

 

Dear Mike Anderson,
Damn Bear would like to say that all that big talk sounds great in a press conference.   But, let Damn Bear assure you that, in reality, were you to get in a fight with Damn Bear that you'd become 40 minutes of lunch.   You might have a sporting chance against one of those fruity dancing circus bears, but not Damn Bear.
sincerely,
Damn Bear

tpmm

First let me thank Justin, Pat, and Joe for giving me a minute in the Zone. Guys I wouldn’t ask ya’ll for the vine but I think considering the subject it’s important enough to merit the time. Secondly, how drunk was Chris Berman last night? Thirdly Pat, big guy. let me sit there for just a couple of minutes, if only in spirit, cause I gotta talk to the zone about some important stuff. In fact Pat just get out of my seat. I’ll give it back. Zoners, please try to pay attention. I have a short lesson for you. You cannot party like a rock star, smoke cigarettes, eat reese’s peanut butter and pringle sandwiches, lay down without moving for long periods of time, etc. etc. and expect to turn 41 and not have a heart attack. It just doesn’t work that way. You may make it a little bit longer than me but not much. Friends I know you guys in studio and many of your listeners are aware that I had a heart attack on Sunday. All I know is I was cheering on Devon Hester for scoring against Tuck-Irpino’s cowboys and the next thing I know I’m Mike Dantonio. Chest felt like an elephant was on it and I couldn’t breathe at all. I was at my dad’s and they took me to the hospital, of course I almost died because Tony Christian drove like he was going to church. The dude that gave me my ekg in the emergency room walked in and said, “Mr. Christian, things are about to start happening very quickly around you.” I was like, ‘whahuh?’ he said, “Mr. Christian, you are having a heart attack and it’s time to go save you.” I said “let’s go.” 78 minutes later I had a brand new splint in my ( l a d) artery which had a one hundred per cent blockage before the splint. Bottom line I could have died. I thought I had heart burn but no, it was a Fred Sanford. People you don't want this I promise. Can I tell you how obtrusive it is to be a heart patient? One word says it all. . . catheter. Do you know how many chicks have seen me naked this week? And it wasn't for something fun. I have an iv in both arms. They've taken blood out of my hand three times a day. Blood thinner injections in my stomach twice a day and oh yeah, they pulled the catheter out! In. . . and out . . . both terrible experiences! Guys it was the scariest thing I’ve ever been through and it continues to inspire me as bad food and non-smoking now become the norm for me. And I just wanted you guys to know about this because we can all learn a lesson. I ran around the city, clowning to the bone and living how I wanted. I paid a big price for that even then and I certainly paid a big price Sunday. I almost lost the rest of my life. Doctors say that I will make a full recovery. And I will be teaching in an inner city Houston school in January. And that’s a good thing. But it almost didn’t happen. I want to thank all of you for your thoughts, kind words, and prayers. Thanks guys for reading this and zoners please try to pay attention when I say, don’t smoke and don’t be fat! Take care of yourselves. Nathan Christian
 

It was like 10 p.m.  in  West Virginia when the game ended.  So, of course most people were asleep and didn't get to see the end of the West Virginia / Kentucky game.  So, the few who did stay up to watch had to start calling and spreading the good news.  they called their moms, dads, brothers, and sisters.  Fortunately, they were probably all in the same bed, so it probably just took one call.
 
tpmm
 

How about Shaq passing the torch and letting Dwight Howard be Superman.

El Guapo

To me, the show lost all credibility a few days ago when you spent half an hour talking about cycling.  But, today,  you get MC Hammer on and totally redeemed yourself.   Way to go.
 
tpmm
 
p.s.   And, while Lance Armstrong might get behind  and just give up.  That kind of thing won't happen with the Hammer.  He's way to legit to quit.